Waterboarding... and Winning!!

In order to protect America from the omnipresent threat of global terrorism, we threw out the Geneva Convention and engaged in the highly illegal torturing of supposed terrorists. But wait - it's only illegal if we fail to actively change the definition of torture, right? Enter our Vice Presidential Candidate John Yoo. Yoo was hired by the Bush administration to justify use of waterboarding by issuing classified legal opinions that argued for a narrower definition of torture under U.S. law.

But here's the best part: more than a few torture photos got leaked to the public, igniting anger in the Muslim world. The anger these images caused was a great recruitment tool for Al-Qaeda and other organizations, resulting in even greater terrorist activity and violence, which, you guessed it - gave us ample justification to continue our war spending and contractual obligations to Halliburton! Do you see the genius here?

Forget "Tricky Dick"... vote Yoo Dick in 2012!
Check out our campaign video here.